Ask Blog Girl!

January 31, 2013

Got burning advice questions about boys, friends, school and more? Blog Girl is here for you! Every week, we take questions from YOU, our lovely readers, and choose questions at random to answer right here. If you need advice about anything, please leave your questions in the comments below. Let’s get to this week’s questions!

pixiedust wrote, “Dear blog girl, There is a girl at school who is bigger than every one, and I am the smallest out of my grade and the 3rd shortest out of the grade younger! She picks on me every day! She calls me stupid, Idiot, and really mean swear words! She also does physical stuff like pushing me, and and kicking me a little hard and then acting like she didn’t do it. I’ve told the principal but nothing gets fixed. And I’m not the kind of person to kick her back. All I do sometimes is just make a face or defend my self, It dose not work! HELP!!”

Hi pixiedust! I’m so sorry to hear that this girl is picking on you. Nobody deserves to be bullied for no reason. It seems like you have already been doing some of the things I would’ve advised you to do – such as ignoring her or telling a responsible adult. But since those didn’t work, another idea you can try is playing it cool. There’s a good chance that this girl is only picking on you to try to get a reaction out of you. So if you don’t give her the reaction she wants, hopefully she’ll get bored and move on with her life. For example, next time she calls you a mean word, just laugh and say, “That’s really funny!” and then go talk to other friends. If she kicks you and pretends she didn’t do it, joke back, “Was that you? Good one!” However, if the physical interaction crosses the line to extreme or painful, it may be time for you to consult another adult besides your principal about this matter – such as a favorite teacher or parent.

Emily wrote, “Dear Blog Girl, There is this guy I really like and my friend told him that I liked him (I wanted her to do this by the way), and he never talked to me again. What should I do?”

Hey Emily! Yes, boys are totally weird and are known to do this all the time, so don’t worry – you’re not alone! Most likely, the guy just got a little freaked out from the sudden news and is shying away because he doesn’t know how else to respond. To avoid scaring him off even more, try giving him some time to come around. Keep things normal and keep talking to him; he shouldn’t be afraid to just become a good friend! After a while, he’ll hopefully come to see that there’s nothing scary at all about you (and girls in general, heh). Having casual conversations can progress into hanging out, which can hopefully progress into a real relationship in the end!

fluffybunny135 wrote, “dear blog girl, my friends always go to the movies or the mall. they always invite me but my parents never let me go. i feel like im that nerdy kid in the group that never has any freedom  i always ask my parents about it but its just the same old answer: “no”. i tried talking to them but they never listen. alot of the times my best friend is the one to invite me. now, hes a guy and my dad always gets mad if i want to hang out with him and a few friends. its not like its just the two of us together on a date, there’s always other people there. but my dad always thinks we’re going out. my parents are really strict and never let me go out and have fun. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!?!?!”

Hey fluffybunny135! I’m glad to hear that you’ve tried talking to your parents already, even though it hasn’t worked (yet). Calm discussions, instead of crying fits or yelling, will be the best way to get your parents to see your side. The reason your parents feel unsafe about you going out with friends is probably that they’re concerned about knowing all the details. So next time you ask them if you can go out, lay out all the information for them. Let them know which of your friends you’ll be with, where you’re going, what you guys will be doing, and what time you’ll be back. This will show your parents that you know what’s important to them and that you can be responsible when thinking about safety. Also, if you’re always thinking about going out and not concentrating on academics, that could be a potential worry for them too. Next time you ask to go out, also let them know you’ve finished all your chores and schoolwork (make sure it’s the truth too!) and that you would enjoy a little break hanging out with your friends. After all: work hard, play hard! Your parents can’t argue with that!

hungergames_99 wrote, “Dear Blog Girl, At the beginning of the school year I had this bff. She started hanging out with “the popular crowd” and talking about me. We had a few fights and she told her mom I was cussing at school when I wasn’t. I was absent for a few days and she told my new friend that she was happy that I was gone and she didn’t feel bad that I was sick. She was talking bad about me too. What should I do??????!! HELP!!!!!!!!???”

Hey hungergames_99! I’m so sorry to hear about your friend doing such hurtful things. And unfortunately, spreading lies about you and talking behind your back doesn’t sound like something a true friend does. You can try approaching her and asking nicely, “Just out of curiosity, I heard you say this about me one day. Is it true? If so, why did you say that?” If she apologizes or explains why she’s been so mean lately, great! Hopefully you guys can talk it through. If she doesn’t apologize or seems like she doesn’t care at all – it might be time to cut her out of your life. If you’re concerned about the lies she told her mom, maybe you could ask your mom to give hers a call, just to clear the air and let her know that you weren’t cursing at school. And then after you tie up all loose ends: move on! Start talking to some new people who you get along with and are actually nice and caring. There could be lots of potential friends around whom you’ve never noticed! And maybe someday down the line, your “friend” will see how happy you are and regret letting such a cool BFF like you go.

Hanna wrote, “Hey blog girl, HELP!!! Fashion disaster! I can never fit in because of my clothes. They aren’t really fashionable like everyone else’s!! I really like fashion but my mom gets me clothes that are good for a six-year-old! How can I convince her to get some nicer clothes?”

Hi Hanna! I’m sure your mom isn’t purposely trying to pick clothes for you that you don’t like! Sometimes moms have a very different fashion sense from their daughters. And if you gently let her know – I’m sure she’d be more than happy to hear what kind of clothes you like! Next time you go shopping with her, ask if you can pick out some things. Show her your choices and tell her why you like each item. Show her advertisements or magazine cutouts of your favorite outfits. After some time, your mom will most likely start to catch on. And the best part is – she’ll probably know where to get the best deals!

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67 Comments

  1. HiImmaOrdinaryHawaiiGirl says:

    Dear Blog Girl!
    I don’t really have a love life and all my other friends do pretty much…….Im homeschooled, so I don’t know many boys. There is this boy who likes me, another boy who likes me and I don’t like them back…… Then there are two boys who might like me and I like them both back sort of in a way. One of them is already dating though.
    Then there is the cutest boys who have no way in heck of liking me but I like them both but one of them especially. The one I especially like likes my Best friend and she likes him back kinda. I am really jelous and she is a good friend and doesn’t wanna hurt my feelings by saying yess when he comes to ask her out. She is a great friend and I don’t want a boy to come beetween us but I don’t wanna be the nerd who has no Boyfriend. PLEASE HELP!!!!! I really need advice!!!!!!!!!

  2. lovingrosslynch says:

    omg cassandra!
    Same thing is happening to me! except i have loved him for the past 5 years lol

  3. daisey1203 says:

    My friend had me ask her crush out, then when I did it was a total disaster! I was talking to him.for.her.and he.Just got really mad at us. So she went to talk.to him and he was moaning, so.I think that’s an I internally like you. But she seemed mad at me.after. And so I said I feel like she hates me now because I did that. But then every one went over to her and said, “go over to her, she thinks that your mad.at her.” So looks like things are going down hill in our school! I hope thing get better but if not, wish us all.good.luck!

  4. Cutiepf16artsy! says:

    Dear Blog Girl,
    There’s a guy i like at my school. He liked me in 6th grade, but he has already dated 2 girls this year (in 7th grade). And we don’t have any classes 2gether. I want him to like me back, but what do i do? And i’m shy to go and talk to him.
    Help!

  5. Makala says:

    Hi blog girl the other day I was talking to my BFF and btw he’s a boy and well all of a sudden I realized I have a huge crush on him I really don’t wanna ruin our friendship but I can’t help it oh and on top of this mess my dad said that I can’t hang out with him because he doesn’t trust me with boys and he doesn’t trust any guy I know it’s making me so mad

  6. Kiki says:

    Dear Blog Girl,

    There’s this girl at my school that I was friends with all through last year. But the thing was, we were each other’s only friend. At school, that is. But this year I made so many new friends, and I’m still her only friend. And things are getting really bad. She’s starting to annoy me so much and I don’t really want to hang out with her. She sings annoying songs and gets in my way when I try to talk to boys. Plus, she wants me to hang out with JUST her. I know that I should still be her friend, but I really don’t want to. Could you please help?

    Sincerely,
    Kiki.

    P.S. follow me on twitter plz. @kiki_r5er

  7. Makala says:

    Hi blog girl,
    I’m about to start high school and I’ve been in home school but now I’m going back to public school and well I’m really nervous I was in public school all my life till two years ago and I don’t know what people will think of me now I don’t wanna be the odd ball in the group help!?

  8. casandra1009 says:

    I have a question i have a crush on a Disney star and i cant stop thinking about him he is in my head all day and he is in my dreams. what should i do i mean when ever i am home i have to watch the show so i cant see him and go on you tube so then i can see him and i also go on twitter so then i can talk to him and when i am in the car i listen to his music. i want to be his dream girl but i’m afraid he will say no i wont go out with you what should what should i do?! OK OK OK the guy that i like on Disney channel that i love he has been in my head for the past almost 2 years the guy i like is Ross Lynch!!! – Casandra

  9. casandra1009 says:

    I have a question i have a crush on a Disney star and i cant stop thinking about him he is in my head all day and he is in my dreams. what should i do i mean when ever i am home i have to watch the show so i cant see him and go on you tube so then i can see him and i also go on twitter s i can talk to him. i want to be his dream girl but i’m afraid he will say no i wont go out with you what should i do?! OK OK OK the guy that i like on Disney channel that i love he has been in my head for the past almost 2 years the guy i like is Ross Lynch!!!

  10. Dear Blog Girl,

    I had this BFF since elementary school. We started seeing each other. On my birthdays, and even Christmas parties. Then in high school, she’s hanging out with other people instead of me. I tried to talk to her what’s going on, but I’m a little shy. Then on our first Graduation Day, I didn’t say goodbye to her. And now, I’d never get the chance to see her again. How will I ever deal this long-distance friendship. Please help!!!!

    Love, Ana Barrios.

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